More conversation from the backseat...

On our way home from the kids getting some shots, we crossed over a train track.
EJ: Mom, we have NEVER seen a train on the track.
Me: You know what?  On the night you were born, Dad and I were on the way to the hospital and we got stopped by a train on that track.  We thought we might have you in the car.
EJ: (thoughtful silence) Mom, how do babies get out of the belly?
Me: (trying not to wreck car... not really prepared for this question and all the roads it might lead down...) Well, there are several ways a baby can be born.
EJ: How did Gracie and me get out?
Me: (crap... sigh) You came out through my vagina.
EJ: Gracie has a vagina!
Me: Yes, yes she does.
EJ: WOW!  Did you vagina EXPLODE?
Me: you don't know the half of it kid!) Not really.
EJ: Oh.  (thoughtful silence) What happened if you needed to pee?
Me: (really? that's the follow up question?  let me pull out my Mister Goodbody outfit.) I don't pee out of my vagina.
EJ: Where do you pee from?
Me: My urethra.
EJ: Oh.  Where does Gracie pee from?
Me: Her urethra.
EJ: Oh.  I pee out of my peanut.
Me: yup.
And that was the end of that.  I'm SO glad the "Where do babies come from?" question wasn't a follow up.  I also hope that he doesn't decide that kindergarten is the place he should spout out his new knowledge.  I was pretty proud of myself for not loosing my cool and just answered the question as well as I could.

More Conversations from the back seat

GJ: Daddy, who you talking about?
JJ: This guy who isn't making good choices.
GJ: Oh!
EJ: Daddy you want me to get Batman to come and hit his head since he's not following directions?
JJ: No.  That's okay.  I think I'll use my words to help.
EJ: Well, Batman could knock him to the ground so he would listen to your words.
JJ: You know Batman uses words too.  I think we'll be okay.  But thanks.
EJ: Weeeell, Batman also knocks people on the ground.  So tell me if you want me to tell him.

I have to say that Elijah's fascination with Batman is at least intriguing.  He has never watched the movie or the cartoon.  He got a pair of hand me down PJs with the Batman logo on them, he has one t-shirt with Batman on it and a plate that has Batman and the Joker on it.  The rest he has come up with in his head.  We have sort of eluded to the fact that Batman is a good guy and helps take care of the bad guys (i.e. Joker.)  But that's really it. It's definitely amusing what he has concluded from either school, what we have told him, and the limited exposure.  But you go little bat guy!!

More conversation from the back seat...

Me: Hey guys I'm rolling the windows up because the fields are stinky.
GJ: NO WINDOW DOOOOOWWWWNNNN!
EJ: No Gracie, Mommy had to roll them up because the fields are stinky.
GJ: Why?
EJ: Because the fields are STINKY.
GJ: WHyyyyyyy?
EJ: NO, I'm NOT going to tell you why ANYMORE.
GJ: WHHHHYYYYY???
EJ: NO, I'm NOT TELLING YOU WHY ANYMORE!
GJ: WWHHHHHHHYYYYYYYY????????????
EJ: I AM NOT TELLING YOU WHY ANYMORE!!!!!!!!!
GJ: I don't care.
I almost drove off the road from laughing so hard.  I think Elijah was rendered speechless.  Grace is sort of become a little bit of a sass!

Discussions in a car

On our way home today from a friend's birthday party we passed the hospital.  Here is the discussion that ensued:
Elijah: Mama you were in that hospital?
Me: Yes.  And you came to visit me when I had Grace.
Elijah: Yeah and then Grace got sick and had to go there and I got to play with the toys?
Me: That's right.  She had to be put under the lights to make her better.
Elijah: Why did you go to the hospital to have Gracie?
Me: Well, she was in my tummy and I needed to get her out, so I went to the hospital.
Elijah: Oh. You had a doctor help get her out?
Me: Well I had a midwife and she helped.
Elijah: Oh.  Will K go to the hospital to get her baby out?
Me: Yes.
Elijah: What about J?  Did she go to the hospital?
Me: No.  She had her baby at her house.
Elijah: Oh.  Did her doctor go to her house.
Me: Her midwife did.
Elijah: Oh.  (silence...feeling pretty good about this conversation.)
Elijah: I want to have a baby in my belly. (well... it was going well...)
Me: Well, um, you are a boy.  And you will be a GREAT daddy some day, but only girls can have babies in their bellies.
Elijah: Oh.  Well, MR can have the baby then.
Me: REALLY?  Okay.  She'll be happy to know that...  However, having a baby is a really big responsibility.  Maybe you should wait a bit.
Elijah: Don't worry mama, we'll wait until we are five. (almost run off the road, I'm laughing so hard. But trying to keep it all in.)
Me: Five.  Wow.  Well, you know that I was almost 30 when I had you.
Elijah: That's a long time away.
Me: Yeah, but it's a lot of fun to be a kid and play and live your life a bit.
(silence)
Elijah: Well, okay.  We'll wait. (phew)
Me: I think that's a good choice buddy!
Elijah: For now, I'll be a mommy monster and have lots of babies and give them some mommy milk!!!!!!
-- that's my boy!