You be the judge... (warning: this post is not for those that cannot handle people talking about kid poop... seriously. Stop reading if you can't handle it.)
We were supposed to go to the zoo today, but there was a 50% chance of rain and that's about 40% more of a chance than I want to take with two kids in a place with little shelter. So we opted out. We THOUGHT about the aquarium, but there were some looming errands and the kids woke up in good moods, so errands it was. We needed gas, so our trip started at Costco. 3.74. Not as bad as it is next to the house. After filling up we went into Costco to purchase a pop up sun tent for the beach. After having to walk through the toy section, we checked out, got the kiddos a snack and left. Next stop, Target. The kids needed summer shoes that could get sandy, wet, and something they could also hike and play in. Target had some that fit Grace, but none that fit Elijah. Fine. We'll look at the next stop, which was Dick's Sporting Goods. We bought a DIFFERENT not-so-much pop up from them, that with one gust of wind was on the ground. Also it was impossible to refit into the bag in which it came. Once I DID cram back into the bag, the box popped open. Secured with duck tape, they still took it back, gave us a refund, only asked why we returned it and we went to look at the shoes. Found some in Elijah's size, $50...not so much. So across the street to Kmart. Kmart had shoes, but not in Elijah's size. They also had a golf thing that Jerry has been wanting, so we got that instead. Poor Elijah was super sad that he didn't have summer shoes, so off to the mall to search Payless. Arriving at the mall means a trip on the carousel. Great. Done. Down to Payless. Found a pair. On sale. They were broken. They called another store in town. They had the shoes, in his size. They had them pulled AND gave us a coupon for $3 off! Great. On to lunch. Chic-Fil-A. mmm. eh. Out of the mall without too much trouble, into the car, drive to the other Payless. They can't find the shoes. Sigh. They look. Get the manager. HE finds them in the back. Okay. Great. Walk out with $22 shoes for 7.56. Great. Drive home. Kids happy with their new shoes. Decide to try out the pop up sun shade cause MAYBE we'll go to the beach this afternoon. BAM, almost poke out an eye as one of the poles is broken. So, I go back to Costco (which has 76023847098 people in the parking lot) to exchange the pop up sunshade for one that will NOT blind me whilst at the beach. MEANWHILE, Elijah is "resting" on floor in our bedroom (thank goodness he's in a pull up) and tries to toot. When he tries to do this, he has diarrhea in his diaper. Jerry puts him on the toilet and for some ungodly reason the child bends over at the waist and is looking in between the toilet seat and toilet when he has more diarrhea and some toilet water comes up and splashes him in the face. (I pause here to say that I was not in the house at this point, but in my head the scene went something like the following: and play...) Elijah starts screaming his head off as if some snake has crawled up the actual toilet and is trying to kill him slowly. Grace, already refusing to sleep, is out of her bed asking 870238470 questions about what is going on. Jerry grabs a syringe (that we haven't used in 2 years and probably haven't cleaned in as long) and started flushing Elijah's eyes out with water. To which Elijah screams even louder, causing Grace to ask questions at a louder decibel, not to be drowned out. Jerry turns on the water in the shower and throws Elijah, at a speed which has not been recoded by man, into the shower to clean up. Tells Grace to shut it, which prompts tears and a melt down that would put Scarlett herself to shame. To add insult to injury, Elijah gets to take a hot shower and she does not. Her world has officially ended. Until Jerry tells her that she can watch Dora in our bedroom. And then all is right again in her world. This is about the time that I arrive home. I find out what has happened, and we decide to try the NEW new pop up sun shade. It works perfectly. great. Elijah gets out of the shower. He goes and watches TV with Grace and then comes back out needing to poop again. You guessed it diarrhea... again. Sigh. We aren't going ANYWHERE this evening. Fine. Our DVD player has bitten the dust. Jerry finds a Blue Ray player with internet capability at HH Gregg and decides to go out and get it and a movie for the kiddos, along with Gatorade and bananas for the kiddo. Off he goes. The kids are calm and quiet for a bit, and I am thinking about starting some rice for dinner. Elijah comes out of the bedroom. He needs to poop. Here we go again. Except this time as he is telling me he is done, he burps and throws up... not a little bit either. And it doesn't stop. I'm frozen. Help the kid? Get a trash bag for the overflowing trash can and a bag for him? I run to the kitchen and grab a bag of bags. I get back in time for round two of vomit. I manage to get a bag under his mouth. Though the whole floor, toilet, kid, step stool are already covered. I think he is done, so I grab a towel to throw over the vomit on the floor and he throws up again. (Again, I pause briefly to say that I do NOT handle throw up well. If I know it's coming, I can sometimes prepare and be okay. But this had no warning, "Mom, I'm going to throw up." And I had to fight... HARD... to not throw up all over my child. end pause.) I grab a cloth and run cold water on it and put it on his neck. I try to think of happy rose filled gardens with butterflies. He tells me he is finished. I wipe him off as best I can and back in the shower he goes. I somehow clean up the rose petals puke and throw the towel outside. It's all I can do. I grab the bleach water and spray the toilet, bathroom floor, and step stool down. As I am getting ready to scour my hands with the hottest water imaginable, I hear, "Mom I gotta poop." WHAT THE HELL??? There cannot be a THING left in this kid. I literally just cleaned up his lunch and dinner from yesterday and his breakfast and lunch from today. There cannot be anymore poop in his little body. But there is. He makes it to the toilet for which I am extraordinarily glad... cause I would maybe move to Australia tomorrow if I had to clean poop out of a shower. As he is sitting on the toilet. I hear, "Mommy, I need to go poop. Will you hold my hand?" REALLLLLY??? (back story... Grace gets constipated on a weekly basis. We help her out with daily doses of prunes, but even that doesn't solve everything. Lately she has been having blood with even her normal, non constipated poops. We are calling the doctor on Monday as it has gotten worse and we want to make sure we are doing everything we can. okay...) So Grace has been eating a TON today. She is a good eater, but today she has really packed it away. She has already pooped once at Kmart (ah, remember Kmart, when everyone was well? sigh.) And now here she is again, pooping. All I could think of was DAMNIT. Not her too. But her poop was fine. I held her hand. She said it hurt a little bit, and there was a little blood. Poor kiddo. Granted after she has these "hurting" poops, it doesn't seem to bother her at all. Still. So she is cleaned up. Elijah finishes. He wants back in the shower. Great. I bring him ice water to sip in the shower and put the trash can (the I finally got cleaned out and bagged) by the shower in case he needed to throw up. and finally...FINALLY I get the rice on for dinner. Jerry comes home without the movie as there was a line and he thought I may need to get out of the house. But we take our time and put the new player together and get the kids plates served (rice, chicken, apples, and a greek yogurt/banana/honey/dab of juice smoothie) and I take off. Jerry texts me that we need ham and more yogurt. I call my folks and tell them about my day. And in retrospect. It really wasn't that bad. Just allot of bad in a short amount of time. There are MANY at leasts: we weren't at the zoo, we weren't at the aquarium, we weren't at the beach, we weren't still at the mall, we weren't (Cause Oh.MY.God.) in the car, we have the where with all tho handle the sickies, it wasn't in the middle of Elijah's last week of school, we know our limits and when we each need a break. And, of course, at least it wasn't worse. Elijah seems fine now. He doesn't have a fever, and while tied, he is not lethargic. He has been playing, while quieter than normal, with Gracie. He is alert. He downed the smoothie and ate chicken for dinner. He is finally sleeping. I am hoping for a peaceful night, but fully expecting to be up several times with him. Tomorrow is Sunday. We will stay home and Jerry and I will take turns taking the recycling (yes there is enough to take turns... several turns... *blush*) and do some stuff around the house that NEEDS to be done. Hopefully, this is a thing that is done with tonight. I would be sad for my son to miss any of his last week of preschool.
So you tell me. Today was....
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